A Beginner's Guide to Fangs Read online

  “What the heck is a PIB?”

  “Umm. Persons or People In Black. You know, ‘Men In Black’ is kinda sexist.”

  Mom shakes the clipboard at me. “How am I supposed to explain this? They’ve got over $400 of cookies ordered here. What happens if those people snap out of your… your… voodoo whatever and don’t remember buying them?”

  I look back up at her with a grin. “It won’t, but I can always go with them to drop the orders off and make sure the people, umm, remember that they wanted cookies.”

  She frowns. “I can’t believe you did that. It’s basically stealing.”

  “It’s a box or two of cookies a person. No big deal. Besides, my powers weren’t the strongest mind control going on out there.”

  “Oh? You’re going to tell me Sophia’s smile did this?” She sets the clipboard on the table and gestures at the order forms. “I really don’t know how to handle this. Okay. I’ll bite.”

  “That was bad.”

  She smirks. “What’s more powerful than your mind control?”

  I hold my arms out to either side. “Samoas!”

  High School

  3

  So, maybe there’s a traveling carnival set up at Cottage Lake Elementary, and maybe Hunter asked me on a date. Of course, as soon as I said anything about that, two things happened that varied greatly in their awkwardness.

  First, and not all that awkward, my siblings all demanded to go to the carnival.

  Second, and massively awkward, my parents pulled me aside to ask me why I even wanted to date a guy considering my ‘condition.’ As if discussing dating with the parents didn’t make my skin crawl enough as it is, that whole ‘he’s alive and you’re a vampire’ thing pushed us well beyond awkward into somewhere else.

  “Well, this conversation just went to plaid,” says Dad.

  Mom and I both stare at him.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You never saw Spaceballs?” Dad gawks at me.

  I shake my head. “Do I even want to know why someone made a movie about testicles in orbit?”

  Mom goes scarlet in the face.

  “Hah!” Dad laughs so hard he flings himself into his recliner before he collapses.

  I glance at Mom. “No idea. I didn’t think it was that funny.”

  She smirks at him. “It wasn’t.”

  Once Dad finally regains the ability to breathe, he offers his most comforting smile. “Look, hon, we’re only trying to keep your best interests in mind.”

  “Did you tell him?” asks Mom. “It wouldn’t be fair to him if you kept it from him.”

  I flop on the couch and hide my face behind a wall of hair. “Mom… I’m a vampire. I don’t have a STD.”

  They both squirm. Hmm. Weird that I hit a nerve considering how Dad can talk about the times he caught me having sex with Scott with a straight face. Though, to be fair, he’d only caught us going for broke once, and we had sheets over us. The other three or four times, he surprised us before we got much past making out.

  “I haven’t told him yet. Hunter’s had a crush on me ever since freshman year. He never acted on it. Who knows if he even likes me? We might go out once and he realizes what a dingbat I am and changes his mind.”

  “Just be careful,” says Mom.

  “Allison…” Dad chuckles. “I sincerely doubt she’s got anything to worry about. If he tries anything, she’s more than capable of handling herself.”

  I raise a hand and wiggle my fingers. “I’ve pretty much been ‘handling myself’ since Scott’s out of the picture.”

  Dad’s turn to blush.

  “Sarah…” Mom glances around to make sure none of the sibs heard that. “Don’t kid yourself. Even if you wind up married, you’ll still need to attend to matters yourself now and then.”

  Dad sputters.

  I fall over sideways on the couch, laughing.

  “Oh, come on, Jonathan,” says Mom. “Like you don’t.”

  “I’m not having this conversation with our daughter, Allie.” Dad coughs.

  My little brother, Sam, jogs down the stairs and zooms over to the bathroom door next to the kitchen. It rattles, locked.

  “In use,” yells Sophia from inside.

  “It’s all right.” I sit up, gasping for breath. Wow, I needed that. “Just a date, and I’m not planning on doing anything weird with him. I guess I’m only trying to feel normal again for a little while.”

  They nod, but give me sad stares.

  Sam runs back across the room like he’s got a brick in the seat of his pants, and hurries up the stairs.

  “Oh, none of that, you guys.” I bounce to my feet. “I’m fine. But, like any young woman with superpowers, sometimes I just want to go on a date like an ordinary person.”

  “I’ll never get used to this,” says Mom.

  Dad chuckles. “Sure you will. It’ll just take time.”

  Sierra’s scream fills the upstairs hall.

  “Well, either someone’s threatening our daughter with a knife, or foul play is afoot.” Dad glances up at the ceiling. “Sierra? You okay?”

  “Dad!” shouts Sierra. “Sam invaded the bathroom and I’m in the tub. I’m naked!”

  My father gives me a guilty look.

  “Not peeking,” yells Sam. “I gotta go.”

  Ahh, family.

  “Maybe we should find a place with three bathrooms?” asks Mom.

  “Get out!” yells Sierra.

  “I can’t!” shouts Sam.

  “Mooooom!” wails Sierra. “Tell Sarah to make him forget seeing me!”

  “I didn’t see you. My eyes are shut!” yells Sam.

  “Four women in this place,” says Dad. “It’s amazing the boy or I even know what a toilet looks like.”

  Mom shakes her head, though I can’t tell if she’s going to laugh or hurl a pillow at him.

  Sierra appears halfway down the stairs, soapy, wet, and wearing a towel. “He just walked in on me!”

  “You should’ve locked the door,” says Mom.

  “We’re not allowed!” Sierra glowers.

  “When you were little.” Mom stands, sighing. “In case you slipped or hurt yourself or something. You’re old enough to lock the door now.”

  The doorbell rings.

  “That’d be Hunter,” I say.

  Sierra shrieks and runs upstairs.

  I dart to the door, eager to get out of here before the bathroom war escalates. Sure enough, Hunter Lawrence is on the stoop. He’s kinda got that oddball charm going with an old blue-and-white flannel shirt and beat up jeans. His light brown hair is thick and disheveled, the look on his face is a mixture of genuine happiness and getting away with something.

  “Hey,” says Hunter, his thumbs hooked in his pockets. He almost even looks me in the eye.

  “Hey.” I step outside and pull the door closed behind me, and not a moment too soon.

  Sierra and Sam launch into a screaming match upstairs. Well, it’s nice to know my almost-death bought us at least two weeks of peace where everyone got along.

  “So, uhh, I guess you’re ready?” asks Hunter.

  “Yeah. I hope it’s not too awkward, but my parents are going to be bringing my brother and sisters to the same carnival.”

  He shakes his head. “Nah, it’s cool.”

  “I mean, it’s not like a chaperone thing. I said ‘carnival’ and they lost their little minds.”

  “Yeah. Little kids and rides, right?” He leans his weight back onto his heels for a second and rocks forward. “So, umm… you’re still okay with the carnival?”

  “Of course. I’m standing here, aren’t I?” Okay. I cheat a little and peek into his thoughts. He’s super nervous. Ugh, this is a little embarrassing. He’s freaking out like I’m some kinda celebrity, and still can’t believe I agreed to date him. “Let’s go?”

  He nods. “Right. Umm. Sorry about the car.”

  I peer around him at an old… something. His car’s a giant beige land
boat with more than a few dents and some duct tape patches. “Don’t worry about it. It’s still better than my car.”

  “Really?” He blinks at me before eying the Sentra and Mom’s Yukon.

  “Really.” I take his hand and stare into his eyes. (No mind games, I swear). “I don’t have one. Those are my parents’ cars.”

  “Oh.” Hunter tenses up, but my utter casualness puts him at ease after a moment. “Cool. It’s an old Buick, but I only really need it to get back and forth to work.”

  We walk down the driveway holding hands. He opens the passenger side door for me, and it emits this spine-bending loud creak of metal. The interior reeks of old person and coffee with a hint of spearmint. Fortunately, not cigarettes. I hop in and he closes the door for me. While he walks around to get in, I glance back at the house and catch the parents watching us from the narrow window by the front door. Aww. They have this adorable look on their faces like they’re having one of those precious moments burned into their memory, their eldest daughter’s first date or something like that.

  For a brief few seconds, I feel like I’m in a Hallmark commercial. At least until Dad, with a totally sincere face, holds up a yellow Post-It note. I stare at it until I make out the words, ‘Don’t eat him’ written in black marker.

  Dad! I say in his mind. I’m not gonna bite him.

  He grins.

  Hunter hops in. His door creaks louder than mine did, and closes with a heavy whud that shakes the car.

  “Wow, this thing is a tank,” I say.

  “It doesn’t look like much on the outside, but it won’t let you down.”

  I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, unsure if he’s talking about his car or himself. “Oh, I dunno. The outside looks fine to me.”

  He can’t hide the surprise on his face for a second or two before he grins and starts the engine. True to his word, it doesn’t at all sound like the clunker it appears to be. Shocks creak and groan as he backs out of the driveway, turns around, and accelerates out of the cul-de-sac. We drive in silence for a moment. “So, umm, the weather’s good for a carnival.”

  “Yeah. What kind of music are you into?”

  “The radio’s dead.”

  “Hunter,” I say, putting a hand on his leg. “I’m not asking you to turn on music. I’m trying to get to know you.”

  “Oh. Umm. Well. I like a lot of stuff. I’m actually kinda into classic rock, you know, old stuff like Metallica, Overkill, Anthrax, Iron Maiden, and that stuff.”

  “Not really sure. I’ve heard of Metallica but not the others. That’s cool.”

  “Even sometimes listen to country. Pretty much anything that’s not someone just talking over someone else’s music.”

  I laugh. “Don’t like R&B?”

  He smiles as we turn at the end of the street. “All R&B isn’t like that. Depends on if it’s artistic. If it’s just some dude talking about how bad-ass he is, or what he does to women, I can’t stand it. What about you?”

  “Taylor Swift, Evanescence, maybe a couple of gothy things. Basically, nothing too screamy.”

  “That’s cool. I can’t stand it when the singer sounds like they’re trying to swallow the mic.”

  When I stop laughing, we chat about various bands and artists for the few minutes it takes to drive to Cottage Lake Elementary. My dad would probably know all the bands Hunter’s into. Most of them are like old, and the more recent stuff he likes, I’ve never heard of… like ‘Avenged Sevenfold.’ Like, that’s actually a band? I’ll have to ask Sierra. She’s into that ‘metal’ stuff. Maybe she’s heard of them.

  The carnival people have set up a bunch of rides and booths in the parking lot as well as this giant paved area behind the school, and the crowd is already fairly big. We have to drive a ways off down Avondale Road to find a place to park, and walk back to the school along a row of cars all halfway up on the grass. The smell of fried food drifts by on the wind, growing stronger the closer we get. By the time we reach the portable fences set up by the parking lot entrance, it’s overwhelming. Breathing tastes like I’m licking the sides of a deep fryer.

  Within a few minutes of wandering among the booths and games, the oddest feeling that someone’s watching me comes out of nowhere. I glance around, but don’t spot anyone obviously checking me out. Hmm. My gaze goes back to the line of cars parked along the street. Bet Agent Kendricks or Han are keeping tabs on me.

  “Something wrong?” asks Hunter.

  “Nah.” I spin back to smile at him. “Just kinda felt watched.”

  He looks around. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t even think… after what happened, maybe a big crowd wasn’t the best idea.”

  “Oh, I’m fine.” I smile at him. “I’m not worried about Scott. He’s not as tough as he acts.”

  Hunter’s laugh sounds more nervous than amused. “Yeah, he’s probably hiding in his attic, terrified the police will find him.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he’s crashed somewhere out of sight.” I smirk off in a random direction.

  “So, umm”―Hunter scratches at the back of his head―“He always seemed like kind of a bad dude. Never understood why nice girls always wind up with jerks.” A strong wave of anger and fear comes off him.

  For a second, I’m a little freaked out at him being that upset at Scott for stabbing me. He’s not looking at me, and startles when I squeeze his hand. “He didn’t start off that way, and please don’t worry about him. I’d be happy to never think of him again as long as I live.” I bite my lip at my bad choice of phrase. Thinking of Scott ‘as long as I live’ is pretty much a done deal. My last mortal thought was totally about him. Something along the lines of: ‘Ow! I can’t believe you… thud.’

  “You wanna grab something to eat?” asks Hunter.

  I don’t bother mentioning that I popped out last night around three in the morning for a bite. Even the few hours of sun I had to deal with selling cookies made me ravenous. Still, I revel in my ability to eat as much junk as I want and not have it go straight to my ass. Well, it will, but not in the sense of gaining weight. What comes out is pretty much exactly what went down. Though, I didn’t really have that problem before, thanks to Dad’s silly metabolism. Mom swears her three girls are going to stay skinny until like thirty or so then blow up. Honestly, I have no idea why she’s worried. She’s nowhere near overweight.

  “Sarah?” He nudges me when I don’t reply right away. I’m still looking around for the source of my ‘watched’ feeling.

  “Oh, umm. I wasn’t expecting them to have food here, so I ate before.” I don’t want him to waste money on food that’ll only wind up going down the drain later. Maybe it’s not technically wasting it if I enjoy eating it. Not like anyone eats funnel cakes or deep-fried Oreos for nutrition.

  Hunter nods. “You sure? They have like cotton candy and stuff. Not real food.”

  “Well, if you insist.”

  He tugs me along deeper into the crowd. The shouts of carnies trying to lure people to games all around us mixes with the squeals of children on the rides set up all the way in the back, and a mind-numbing electronic piano melody coming from a dinky merry-go-round. Random bursts of perfume, after shave, and a loaded diaper assault me from all angles. My ears hone in on snippets of conversation from people hundreds of feet away, wherever my mental focus settles. Gah! That’s distracting as hell.

  We swing by one of the vendors and grab cotton candy before moving on to the game booths. I stand there nibbling on the gauzy sugar puff while Hunter wastes a couple bucks throwing darts at balloons. Whenever he hits one, it bounces off. On the last dart, he gets mad enough to really hurl the thing, but only drills it into the backboard.

  “Damn.” He shifts his eyes toward me with a look of determination. “I’m gonna win you something before we leave.”

  “You don’t have to, but okay.” I smile over the cotton candy

  He leans close like he’s going to kiss me, but takes a bite out of the sugary mass. Oh, wow. I’m so
glad Sophia didn’t see that. She’d go bonkers at the cuteness. I giggle a little and pull the cotton candy down so it’s not between our faces. We stare at each other for a while. He starts to lean in to kiss me, but hesitates. It’s so not like me to kiss a boy less than twenty minutes into our first date, but I’m not exactly the same girl I was three weeks ago. A small part of me wishes I’d learned how fleeting life can be before I lost it, but I’m too happy right now to dwell on bad thoughts.

  I lean up and press my lips into his. At the instant of contact, it’s as if he finally convinces himself he’s not dreaming. All the tension in Hunter’s body melts away and he commits himself to a reasonable effort for his first real kiss.

  We are, after all in public, so I keep it on the tame side.

  “Wow,” says Hunter, a bit stunned afterward. “This is gonna sound creepy, but I’ve been dreaming of that moment for a long time.”

  “From most guys, that would’ve sounded creepy.” I grasp him by the back of the neck and pull him in for another round. “I think it sounds sincere.”

  A few minutes later when a couple of throat-clearing old people embarrass him enough to stop kissing me, he plunks down another three bucks and takes the darts from the carnie. This time, his third toss pops a balloon and a little bit of paper flutters to the ground. The carnie picks it up, looks it over, and hands me a goofy stuffed rabbit that’s about eight inches tall.

  “Congrats,” says the carnie. “You guys are a cute couple.”

  “Thanks,” says Hunter before looking at me. “Do you like it?”

  “He’s adorable.” I hug the stuffed rabbit.

  We wander on down the row of booths to a ‘knock the bottles over’ one. A small boy hurls the ball, walloping one of the stacks, but only knocks the top three off. To my sharpened senses, it’s pretty obvious the bottom group of three bottles are weighted. Meh. I could probably throw hard enough to knock the whole table over, but no sense making a scene. Instead, I gravitate to a ladder climb game that has three rope ladders with wooden rungs spanning a ‘pit’ full of cushions. The objective appears simple enough, climb to the top and push a big red button. The problem is that the ladders are only attached at a single point at the top and bottom, which makes them prone to twisting around.